As recently announced by Engadget, Apple is holding a press conference this Friday, presumably to deal head-on with the iPhone 4 antenna issues that refuse to die.

(For the record, I have an iPhone 4 and yes, I can easily reproduce the "death grip" on mine, and I bought my $30 bumper to mitigate the issue).

So without further delay, here are my predictions for what I think will happen, in order of probability:

100%:

• Apple is sorry people "feel inconvenienced".
• Apple denies there is, in fact, a problem with the antenna design.
• Apple bans all "Consumer Reports" testers from Apple stores.

95%:

• Free bumpers for everyone. Refunds to suckers customers who bought one already.
• Apple is "taking it seriously".
• Apple takes credit for the newly-seeded iOS 4.1 update "fixing" the signal issue.
  

50%:

• Apple acknowledges the positioning of the antenna is "unfortunate" but does not reduce the "revolutionary" design
• Apple restates that people need to hold the phone in a way that does not block the antenna.
• Apple announces a new iPhone accessory called the "iTenna", which looks suspiciously like a roll of duct tape. (Thanks, @cpeers!)
  

25%:

• Apple issues a recall; redesigns phone with pre-installed covering over antenna array.

5%:

• Apple issues a recall; completely redesigns the antenna array to avoid a single area of interference.
• Apple announces the new iPhone 4S. "This one is truly revolutionary.."
  

1%:

• Apple hires a frakking RF/antenna engineer who could have told them that putting an antenna on the outside of the phone was a boneheaded move in the first place.